I honestly feel like I am going no where in life. I am trying so hard to make everyone happy, but that is impossible, for when I make one person happy another becomes unhappy. School is getting harder and harder. Not the homework or the amount of time it requires to commit. It's just life. For years now I have been the one who stays at home. I never get out and do anything. The one night I got a babysitter, my boyfriend wants to play bingo. We had an offer for Sioux hockey game tickets, but no, he would rather play bingo.
What the hell!
I love my teachers. I have my two favorite teachers this semester, which makes it even worse when I have to miss class. It always seems like I miss the days when assignments or tests are due too. My mind seems like a swirl of nothing and every class seems to run together like paint with too much water. I can't remember what is due on what day in what class. I think I'm going insane.
My kids are usually the ones that cheer me up but today they are driving me to the brink. Homework is absolutely impossible to get done when they are awake. They have been having crabby spasms lately and seem to want 100% attention 100% of the time. Maybe it was my mistake having three, and now having another on the way, but I wouldn't give them up for anything. I just wish I had more time, energy, and arms for them all.
Philosophy class today. Completely unmotivated to go. I wonder what we will do. There is a test on Tuesday so I probably should go. I hate this life sometimes.
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