Usually Chris is complaining about me not pulling my weight and not doing things 50/50 with him, and he's right, especially lately. I sometimes don't feel like I have the energy to do things, and it's only getting worse. Well it's getting really really worse. My bones are hurting, my muscles are becoming unbearable, and I just feel like I want to collapse if I'm up for more than ten minutes. I busted my @$$ off the last 3 nights, staying up until 5 in the morning washing clothes trying to do something so that I can contribute to getting this house done before the baby comes.
Maybe I'm being rude or talking nonsense, but it really pisses me off. Chris stayed up all night to get the carpet in the hall done and he uses his time to play video games. I was walking back and forth doing laundry and he couldn't even empty or load the dryer for me. I shouldn't have to ask, but he seems to think that I do. I finally tell him how I feel about things and he yells at me and gets angry. I don't understand. I hate how much his impatience and anger comes out sometimes. I honestly think that he may be bipolar or something. I love the guy to death, but honestly, he has some issues. He acts like I'm the only one with problems, but at least I can admit that I have them.
I just want some help, and some things seem like they should be obvious when I'm this drained and hurting to help out without me having to ask. He complains I don't open up, but when I do he always lashes out. I just don't know if I can handle it anymore. If somethings wrong, and he notices, it goes two ways... either I tell him and he gets upset and lashes out about what it is, or I say nothing and he freaks out about me not telling him the truth and telling him how I feel. I feel like I'm walking on thin ice every time he even talks to me. I don't know how to handle this situation.
I open up about feeling like I'm dying with this pregnancy, and instead of trying to be sympathetic or caring, he lashes out and turns it around on himself saying he doesn't feel good either and at least mine will go away, while his wrists won't. I don't think he understands what being pregnant is like. I hate baby daddy #2, but I can say that he was one hell of an understanding help when I was pregnant. It was when he showed the most compassion and love towards me, it's like he knew exactly what I needed. I'm not saying I wish it was him here instead, because I don't, I absolutely hate the guy, but it can't be that hard to try if baby daddy #2 can do it. Ugh. Okay, enough complaining. I just have no one else to talk to. I have no friends, and I can't tell my family because they might start looking down on him and that's not what I need.
