Borderline Personality Disorder I was cleaning and found an old poem I wrote!!!

Untitled

I know I've lost your trust with all of my lies
I can still see the hurt from each one of them in your eyes
I can't blame you if you never fully forgive me
This really isn't the person I want to be

Sometimes my heart sings out madness
Occasionally, for no reason, it cries out sadness
I know that I'm not perfect
Actually quite confident I'm wrecked

I know it's too often I have an attitude
I stupidly say things that are rude
I have honestly never hurt you intentionally
I love you completely:
Physically, Emotionally, Spiritually, and Mentally

I know I make you mad when I close up and get shy
I've just never had someone love me enough to pry
You've shown me a love that's sentimental and true
Try to understand this love you've shown, to me, is brand new

Please be patient, please be kind
Give me a while before I can adjust my mind
To this magical loving you've provided for me
And I'll do the best to make this relationship
everything you want it to be

There's nothing I wont do to keep you by my side
Maybe one day you can actually look at me with pride
If I'm lucky, there might be a day when I can look into your eyes
and see that I make you truly happy
That day might not come, and than my world will shatter
When I need to set you free

Don't Hate: Life Happens

So I realize... it's been a long time. Okay, a REALLY long time. I honestly forgot I even had a blog! I guess there has been ALOT that's happened since I've wrote. I don't even know where to start.  I suppose an apology, for anyone who is following me, is in order. I honestly don't know what happened. I was so excited to be starting a blog, and then I dropped off the face of the internet.

I was getting sick and tired of my Yahoo account (actually my daughter's Yahoo account- I flooded mine up with too much spam and newsletters) and decided to try and log into my gmail account. It's been about one and one half years since I've even checked  my gmail! As I was going through old emails, cleaning out the inbox of all the junk google and youtube have sent me, I noticed an email that had someone's name on it. This someone just so happens to be the amazing woman who inspired me to start my blog in the first place!

Imagine how badly I felt when I realized she had commented on my blog... back in 2011. I must have been such a disapointment to her! She was so proud that I had a blog in her comments. I looked at Chris(my S.O.) and excitedly remarked, "Oh my Gosh! I forgot about my Blog!!" His response was none other than, "You had a blog? I forgot about that." Of course he did, because if he hadn't, he could have reminded me! He's supposed to be the one with the good memory!

So if I have any followers left at this point, again I apologize. I am going to start writing more, now that I've remembered. I'll try to start catching up with my blogs. There is a lot to tell! I have stories about Baby Daddy #1, Baby Daddy #2, Baby Daddy #3, and loads of stories about myself and my kids and my family. It's all ready to come out and I just need to catch up on my own life I suppose.

Once I get through a few days, maybe weeks(hey it's been a LONG time!), of catching up in the last few years, I most certainly want to start up in the present again!