I went through a time of confusion recently. I had suppressed feelings that needed to be released into the open and dealt with. Well I, like so many people before me have and many others will do, made a mistake. My ex-fiance, father of three of my children, got released from prison Sept 16th and I had certain relations with him after my feelings came flooding back. In the meantime, my current fiance was at home sleeping on our couch. I'm not proud of what I've done, and I realized now where I went wrong and what I needed to do to fix things. My mind was such a jumble because I didn't, or didn't want to deal with my own thoughts. Well, at least I got it out of my system and learned a little more about myself, but I hurt the man who loves me in the process. No, I'm not proud in the least, but at least I can take something out of this.
So what did I do? I put my current fiance in the middle as a mediator between my ex-fiance and myself. Maybe that was a mistake on my part, but I thought it would make things easier. Wrong. Oh boy, was I wrong. My ex got a new girlfriend, who is the age of his mother mind you (disgusting) and didn't work for over a week. Do you think he could try and see his children on his unemployed streak? No. He would rather spend his time doing childish things with childish people, and doing the nasty with his even nastier girlfriend.
So when I agreed to do things my way for once, and let people know I was not going to be walked all over this time, I get shoved to the floor. I offered a time for him to have his kids for two hours. It seemed like a reasonable amount of time for someone that they don't even know and for someone that doesn't even seem to fully care. So what does my current fiance do? He asks me if we could give my ex an entire extra hour. Screw that!!!
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