I remember a time

How cliched but this is how I feel when memories are brought up. This is officially dedicated to: Baby Daddy # 2

I remember a time when I was vulnerable and weak

You swelled my lips so badly I could barely speak

Tasting the blood building up inside my cheek

The tears falling down my face like a faucet with a fast leak

I remember a time when I was so fragile and scared

It was me, with your friends, in which you always shared

Making me do those degrading things while you sat there and stared

You had a real pathetic way of showing you cared

I remember a time when I was sadly profound

I thought because of our kids that we were forever bound

Even after all the bruises you left pushing me around

How many times did you throw me into walls and push me to the ground?

I remember a time when I was susceptible and disband

I guess no is a word that was just too hard to understand

After all of this I still felt like you had the upper hand

Thankfully you aren’t what the future had planned

I remember a time when I was delicate and afraid

You’re gone, but I hope you know all these scars have stayed

My heart still has the marks you left with your blade

My mind will always be in ruins from all the memories you portrayed

I remember a time when I was in pain and agony

You can’t hurt me anymore, I feel so relieved and free

Now I can finally rebuild myself and feel what it’s like to really be me

Now when you put the blame all on me, I can finally knowingly disagee

Now I can say I feel accepted and respected

My life is much easier when I can, once again with someone, be connected

I can now know when I need someone there I won’t be redirected

Now I have someone who makes me feel loved and protected

Now I can say I feel cherished and desired

He makes me feel worthy and actually admired

Instead of putting me down, he makes me so inspired

It’s such a nice change to feel this way, no vulnerability required

Being a Mom and Being Sick Really Sucks

So I have been horribly sick all day, I'm thinking the flu.  That mean I didn't have to go to school today... YAY!! That also means I got to keep my kids home today and still change diapers and make food and break up some fights and be a trampoline.  I have a sectional, so why my kids choose to still jump on the couch I'm on, hence jumping on me, instead of the OTHER couch, I'll never know.  Not to mention the new puppy needing to go outside in the cold every hour. If you don't normally go out every hour when I'm gone, why must you do it when I'm home sick?
One thing I'm sure of, that's okay. In the end it will all be worth it.  I can't get mad at them for being kids and doing what they normally do.  It's hard to not get mad sometimes. I try my hardest.
It's early and the kids are now sleeping and so I am in about ten minutes! I need to go to school tomorrow. One class, no school on Friday, I think I can handle one class. Then I'll have three days to get better by the time I am to go to school again.  Goodnight!